The Best Cover Email Ever? Let Netiquette Judge!

Below is an email which has been widely distributed on the Internet. The recipient and many others who have read it have heaped great praise upon it for its candor, humility and other attributes. Most of us, at one time or another, have felt compelled to write an email such as this.

Whether or not the person was hired or not, by Netiquette rules and statistics, there are many mistakes made in this correspondence. The point to be made here is that in spite of the desire to stand out from the crowd, messages such as this one will rarely sit well with a seasoned hiring manager or recruiter. It is tantamount to remember that a person in the hiring process is rated by their skill in presenting prospective employees. If those they select fail, the hiring people will be at risk.

From: ******

Sent: Monday, January 14, 2013 1:14PM

To: ******

Subject: Summer Internship

Dear ******

My name is ****** and I am an undergraduate finance student at ******. I met you the summer before last at Smith & Wollensky’s in New York when I was touring the east coast with my uncle, ******. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to talk with me that night.

I am writing to inquire about a possible summer internship in your office.  I am aware it is highly unusual for undergraduates from average universities like ****** to intern at ******, but nevertheless I was hoping you might make an exception.  I am extremely interested in investment banking and would love nothing more than to learn under your tutelage. I have no qualms about fetching coffee, shining shoes or picking up laundry, and will work for next to nothing. In all honesty, I just want to be around professionals in the industry and gain as much knowledge as I can.

I won’t waste your time inflating my credentials, throwing around exaggerated job titles, or feeding you a line of crapp (sic) about how my past experiences and skill set align perfectly for an investment banking internship.  The truth is I have no unbelievably special skills or genius eccentricities, but I do have a near perfect GPA and will work hard for you.  I’ve interned for Merrill Lynch in the Wealth Management Division and taken an investment banking class at ******, for whatever that is worth.

I am currently awaiting admission results for ****** Masters of Science in Accountancy program, which I would begin this fall if admitted. I am also planning on attending law school after my master’s program, which we spoke about in New York. I apologize for the blunt nature of my letter, but I hope you seriously consider taking me under your wing this summer. I have attached my resume for your review. Feel free to call me at ****** or email at ******. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

******.
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In addition to this blog, I maintain a radio show on BlogtalkRadio  and an online newsletter via paper.li.I have established Netiquette discussion groups with Linkedin and  Yahoo.  I am also a member of the International Business Etiquette and Protocol Group and Minding Manners among others. I regularly consult for the Gerson Lehrman Group, a worldwide network of subject matter experts and I have been contributing to the blogs Everything Email and emailmonday . My work has appeared in numerous publications and I have presented to groups such as The Breakfast Club of NJ and  PSG of Mercer County, NJ.

I am the president of Tabula Rosa Systems, a “best of breed” reseller of products for communications, email, network management software, security products and professional services.  Also, I am the president of Netiquette IQ. We are currently developing an email IQ rating system, Netiquette IQ, which promotes the fundamentals outlined in my book.

Over the past twenty-five years, I have enjoyed a dynamic and successful career and have attained an extensive background in IT and electronic communications by selling and marketing within the information technology marketplace.Anyone who would like to review the book and have it posted on my blog or website, please contact me paul@netiquetteiq.com.

If you have not already done so, please view the trailer for my book below.